A Year at the Movies

• Most "What the fuck?" moment: Charlize Theron is also a superhero in Hancock? Worse, they were a couple in ancient times?
• Most "I can't recover from seeing that!" moment: Matthew Fox speaking spanish in Vantage Point
• Most "I want to like it more but I can't" film: Indiana Jones and the Legend of the Crystal Skull. Question: How is Indy's dad dead if he drank from the Holy Grail at the end of The Last Crusade?
  
• "Samuel L. Jackson's seal of crap" film: Jumper. Now you know it: if Sam's in a movie, it probably sucks.
  
• Most "Pretentious self-satisfying pet projet": Maradona by Kusturica. Apparently, Maradona's "hand of God" goal was planned as a socialist coup to the establishment. Best Fiction Ever.
  
• "Annoying Karaoke singer" award: Pierce Brosnan in Mamma Mia. It's bad enough that we have to endure musicals, there's no need for this Saw-inspired torture.
  
• "Maradona's Destroy the legend" award: Al Pacino and Robert De Niro in Righteous Kill. After a mediocre decade at best (Showtime? Simone? 88 minutes? Godsend?), are the two icons heading for leads in CSI:Wichita?
  
• Worst excuse for a film: X Files 2. They actually thought people craved for more Duchovny.
  
• "I am starting to hate her but I don't know why" actress of the year: Nicole Kidman. Maybe it's because she looks a little pretentious. Or because her pregnant belly is no larger than a beer belly. Or because she hasn't aged since Days of Thunder.
  
• "Follow Joaquin Phoenix and retire already" award: Eddie Murphy. Should've retired in 1989, along with Soul Glo.
  
• Wile E. Coyote award for persistence and utter failure: Madonna, now directing. How can this be stopped?
  
• "I thought this was a movie and not 24" award: Taken. Dishonorable mentions: Vantage Point, 88 minutes. I thought the phrase "real time" was buried with the crash of the dotcom bubble.
  
• "Typecasted in a corset" award: Keira Knightley in Atonement and The Duchess. Maybe its because all those costumes make us believe that your chest is actually full, maybe it's because your movies in present time are, hmmm, awful? (The Jacket? Domino?)
  
• "Was this really a movie?": Mamma Mia. It was more like a perfume commercial mixed with singing under the shower. Apparently, they just gave the camera to some innocent bystander and asked him to shoot.
  
• Worst career move: Mark Wahlberg (Max Payne? The Happening?). Hire Ari, bitch!
  
• "In your face!" award: Scarlett Johanson. She's everywhere, like your annoying friend that comments everything in Facebook but ultimately has nothing to say or show for herself. What is she's going to do when she's 40 and can't play precocious anymore?
  
• Most enlightning moment of the year: Audiences finally realized Mike Myers is NOT funny. Hope this kills all planned Shrek sequels.
• "Makes you think" moment: Oliver Stone directing W. After World Trade Center and Alexander, it seems to confirm that you lose your edge with age.
• Proof that kills the theory that Europeans are more cultivated and intellectual: Mamma Mia is the highest grossing film of ALL TIME in the UK, Bienvenue chez les Ch'Tis is the highest in France.
  

L'Interista

Milan